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Wife blackmailing me with my empty vials and needles

jxl2008

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I was with a few crazies when I was younger but it was only after I fucked around and screwed up royally that they turned into crazies. OP whatever part you played in who she has become (She did not start out this way or you would've left way before marriage) just remember this lesson and do better with the next one.
You really need to mature up and grow up and deal with this situation like an adult- You're on an internet forum when you should be talking to her. You ran off, when you should've stayed to talk. How about you act like men did before we had this creation of the internet and you go actually speak to that human being that you're having an issue with. Get up, nut up, go be an adult and fix your shit.
A man can both make choices and accept consequences of his choices; Go be a man and talk to that woman.
I’ll take the heat. It’s not like I was forced into this predicament and didn’t see any red flags

I’m not good with people who prefer screaming and cussing to get their point across. And with her kids in the house and not agreeing to go out to a car to “talk” I felt the only solution was to leave. Granted I could’ve responded better.

It started because she thought I was cheating and talking to another woman through Snapchat when she learned I was disabling my last activity and location while at work.

I was only doing that so she didn’t ask why I was on Snapchat but wasn’t messaging her first. Many women in her family are the “strong independent women” aka husband is my pet.

She was legit stalking everything I was doing. It was to the point Cheating on her wasn’t even possible if I wanted to. Even now while alone I am not talking to a female.
 

JDLift

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I’ll take the heat. It’s not like I was forced into this predicament and didn’t see any red flags

I’m not good with people who prefer screaming and cussing to get their point across. And with her kids in the house and not agreeing to go out to a car to “talk” I felt the only solution was to leave. Granted I could’ve responded better.

It started because she thought I was cheating and talking to another woman through Snapchat when she learned I was disabling my last activity and location while at work.

I was only doing that so she didn’t ask why I was on Snapchat but wasn’t messaging her first. Many women in her family are the “strong independent women” aka husband is my pet.

She was legit stalking everything I was doing. It was to the point Cheating on her wasn’t even possible if I wanted to. Even now while alone I am not talking to a female.

You're a grown man, what use do you even have for Snapchat? That's high school kid shit. Get rid of Snapchat, Tinder, Bumble, Kik, and whatever else people use nowadays. Cut down your social media friend lists or get off of them. All this technology shit is not worth it, and what you did was knowingly deceitful. I can't imagine talking to other people but not my wife, or hiding my activity from her. When I did do stuff like that, it's because I was younger and I was absolutely out cheating on those now-ex's and I learned from it. Random adds, random likes/comments, internet clout, all that shit is meaningless dude. Your family should be #1, all that other junk isn't worth it. If you're open, she won't need to 'stalk' you- She'll have all the info she wants already.

There's nothing wrong with having a social life but once you take that step in life where you are married to someone and have a family, your social life has to change a bit. You have to decide what's more important to you: Maintaining your presence on some apps and keeping in contact with people who may or may not care too much about you, or maintaining your relationship with a woman and children who LOVE you.
When women start doing detective work it is not about finding reasons to leave you dude, it's about finding ways they're fucking up and not making you happy so they can try to fix themselves and save what you have. That woman loves you and she needs serious time with you. That means put the phones away, get off the computers and TVs and Playstations and have real time together. Talk, share, open up, work on things. Apps and random internet friends aren't worth more than a marriage.

To answer your main question: She isn't even going to use that against you. She just knows it will hurt you and scare you to say that.
 

jxl2008

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You're a grown man, what use do you even have for Snapchat? That's high school kid shit. Get rid of Snapchat, Tinder, Bumble, Kik, and whatever else people use nowadays. Cut down your social media friend lists or get off of them. All this technology shit is not worth it, and what you did was knowingly deceitful. I can't imagine talking to other people but not my wife, or hiding my activity from her. When I did do stuff like that, it's because I was younger and I was absolutely out cheating on those now-ex's and I learned from it. Random adds, random likes/comments, internet clout, all that shit is meaningless dude. Your family should be #1, all that other junk isn't worth it. If you're open, she won't need to 'stalk' you- She'll have all the info she wants already.

There's nothing wrong with having a social life but once you take that step in life where you are married to someone and have a family, your social life has to change a bit. You have to decide what's more important to you: Maintaining your presence on some apps and keeping in contact with people who may or may not care too much about you, or maintaining your relationship with a woman and children who LOVE you.
When women start doing detective work it is not about finding reasons to leave you dude, it's about finding ways they're fucking up and not making you happy so they can try to fix themselves and save what you have. That woman loves you and she needs serious time with you. That means put the phones away, get off the computers and TVs and Playstations and have real time together. Talk, share, open up, work on things. Apps and random internet friends aren't worth more than a marriage.

To answer your main question: She isn't even going to use that against you. She just knows it will hurt you and scare you to say that.
Normally I’d agree but the issue I have is it’s always “do as I say not as I do”. She’s the one who is taking social media so seriously and having mad dudes on her page. Hypocrite.

She even freaked out about women on my page who had any sort of cleavage or bikini pics on. And one time she got pissed that I was wearing grey sweats to the gym and said that’s not allowed.

Other married couples know the situation and hardly have any issue with this crap. My life is on lockdown with her and have to be by her side whenever possible or she pulls the silent treatment or gtfo of “her house”.

Not to mention she makes me pay $1400 a month to live with her as it is. She makes 70k i make 45k And always complains about me taking any overtime ontop of saying I don’t take her out enough.

I’m a loner type person as it is. As in I can legit stay in a room all day and be fine. And even I am over this life she expects me to live. I don’t feel like a partner. I feel like someone she’s training to be codependent emotionally and financially and if not I get punished.
 

lil_swole

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Long story short we got into another huge fight and told her I’m just ready to call it quits.

As soon as I got out the door to get something from my car she slammed the door and changed the digital code lock to the door.

When I said I’d get a cop to help get my personal belongings she said she was gonna have me arrested for the needles and empty vials she kept for some reason.

What are my options here? All I want are my sentimental childhood things, laptop and personal documents/papers.
Ok this going to sound mean but make a small order of something like a bottle of tren or test shipp it in her name to you old place get a new phone a clean one hid the other phone track the pack wait for it to get there then get the cops to go with you to get your things and make sure it gets there y'all meaning you and the cops go get your stuff then you look good bro and remember to leave the other phone somewhere else not where your sister at at ether take the sim out of it and don't have any thing at where your staying at in case she wants them to go check then you like a nice guy with a crazy ex that's trying to destroy your life have to a nice week bro I hope it all works out I really do and sorry for how she was to you that shit not cool at all
 

Jordo

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I would play nice and get your stuff…then if the threats continue, I would tell her to go fck herself. The chances of them attempting to prosecute you for something found in her possession is highly unlikely, just say their not yours and she’s nuts…that she will go through whatever means necessary to make you look like the bad guy for divorce.
 

bottletop

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If you own the place never leave that’s how lawyers start fucking you in regards to custody and money
 

HandsomeSloth

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Textbook case of Borderline personality disorder. Look it up. My wife has it and it took years to figure out what the fuck was wrong with her. It’s a really tough mental disorder to deal with as the spouse but with therapy she can change her behaviour.
 

jxl2008

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Textbook case of Borderline personality disorder. Look it up. My wife has it and it took years to figure out what the fuck was wrong with her. It’s a really tough mental disorder to deal with as the spouse but with therapy she can change her behaviour.

That’s what I always thought but also narcissism as well. As much as I care about her I am not dealing with this anymore. I’m not risking my well being as well as her threatening to ruin my life. She’s the most vile and vindictive person I know.


Apparently I have to get a court order to get my things now. Stupid state law here takes spousal allegations by word. Just going to get a lawyer.
 

jxl2008

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If you own the place never leave that’s how lawyers start fucking you in regards to custody and money
No it’s hers. And the kids aren’t biologically mine. Thank god I told her I’m not adopting them. Not because of them personally, they’re amazing. but I knew she’d use that against me.
 

purplepandaRep

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The worst thing you did was either hide your gear use or piss her off by making it known you wanted to leave. Women don’t like hearing that.

Btw you realize she’s an accomplice to your illegal activities? You do realize when LE does a raid for drug offenses, that they arrest everyone on the premises? She willingly allowed illegal controlled substances within her reach.

And empty vials and syringes is not cause for charges….. the worst you can get is a fine for not properly disposing the needles and syringes.

Your biggest mistake was allowing your emotions to get the better of you and that’s what women prey on. And the fact that you have an electronic door lock is pretty trippy too.

Illegal activities of all kinds be it recreational or profitable do not mix with romance, family or cookie cutter life styles.
 

Doomshade

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Long story short we got into another huge fight and told her I’m just ready to call it quits.

As soon as I got out the door to get something from my car she slammed the door and changed the digital code lock to the door.

When I said I’d get a cop to help get my personal belongings she said she was gonna have me arrested for the needles and empty vials she kept for some reason.

What are my options here? All I want are my sentimental childhood things, laptop and personal documents/papers.
Sounds like those are her needles and empty vials. No police department is going to do anything about this either way, IMO. I'd just laugh at her and say go ahead.
 

Bully

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On the real, mine does it too. I play along. Doesn't bother me. I have a lot to lose but I also know the law. There's a lot more that goes into it than her saying "he's on steroids". What little does she know is, she's actually incriminating herself by being in possession of such items. Don't trip on it dude. The law has to build a case against you first. Yes a crazy wife, girlfriend or ex can in fact promote that, but it's a lengthy process. Hide your shit, deny any usage to her and don't give her any ammo whatsoever. In the meantime, hate fuck her as much as you can.
 

lordNachos

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Long story short we got into another huge fight and told her I’m just ready to call it quits.

As soon as I got out the door to get something from my car she slammed the door and changed the digital code lock to the door.

When I said I’d get a cop to help get my personal belongings she said she was gonna have me arrested for the needles and empty vials she kept for some reason.

What are my options here? All I want are my sentimental childhood things, laptop and personal documents/papers.
Wait. Aren't those hers?
 

imagepb

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You mentioned her being a narcissist and someone mentioned BPD.

Usually a narcissist will say fine leave, bc they have another fill lined up. If you really do leave, they’ll try and Hoover you back in. They’ll often cave to your demands, just to keep you as their fill.

BPD could definitely fit. From the description, she sounds like an anxious attacher who’s turned negative bc her internal definition/perception of love isn’t being met. I recently had a girl from Vegas work the shit out of me for the last year and half (and I don’t even live there). She was a true narcissist. I spent thousands in therapy and learned all this shit. Actually it’s all pretty interesting if you really delve into it.
 

PhillyBubs

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I have texts to were I used them while I wasn’t living with her. but the texts were deleted and lost from her old phone.

After that I never admitted to using them. I simply ignored any statement or question regarding them.


she has a screenshot of an old order of test but was made to my house about two years
ago. Not hers

She found my stash and Emptied them the vials with a syringe and flushes pills in toilet. I’m sure there are remnants in the vials still.

It’s like she kept everything to hold against me for times like this. If they’re so dangerous or whatever then why the hell keep them in your damn house?
That shit is all bullshit man. Do like said above stash your shit get rid of the empty vials and bounce
 
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