Imagine asking about girl problems on SST

[Septicanon]

So I never thought I’d be asking for relationship advice on a steroid forum but here goes

Girl I’m seeing(ish) was meant to stay at mine friday as she’d had a fight with her flatmate earlier in the week. They made up and she didnt tell me she was cancelling to stay with her flatmate and have drinks until i texted her at 8pm after Ive asked my flatmates to leave us the house to ourselves and tidied up. I really want to cut off whatever we had is that the tren speaking or is that fair enough? Didn’t bother to apoligze until I said it’d upset me she blames the drink says she forgot.

She’s been getting the silent treatment since then (as in Im ignoring her texts/snaps) but my estrogen was high this morning and I’m seeing her tommorow for coffee. Is it okay to give her an ultimatum and say if that happens again were done or am I completely overreacting? I’m kind of just enjoying ignoring her at this point and her getting upset over it

basically Im feeling like her bitch and disrespected and I want to tip the scales back

 

[PersianBody19]

Septicanon" pid='96637' dateline='1597701187:

So I never thought I’d be asking for relationship advice on a steroid forum but here goes

Girl I’m seeing(ish) was meant to stay at mine friday as she’d had a fight with her flatmate earlier in the week. They made up and she didnt tell me she was cancelling to stay with her flatmate and have drinks until i texted her at 8pm after Ive asked my flatmates to leave us the house to ourselves and tidied up. I really want to cut off whatever we had is that the tren speaking or is that fair enough? Didn’t bother to apoligze until I said it’d upset me she blames the drink says she forgot.

She’s been getting the silent treatment since then (as in Im ignoring her texts/snaps) but my estrogen was high this morning and I’m seeing her tommorow for coffee. Is it okay to give her an ultimatum and say if that happens again were done or am I completely overreacting? I’m kind of just enjoying ignoring her at this point and her getting upset over it

basically Im feeling like her bitch and disrespected and I want to tip the scales back

Something similar happened to me over a year ago lol, If I were in your position I’d just kinda let her go bro. If she cant tell you her plans ahead of time or cancels on you that just means your not a priority to her and not really that important. In my case I went back to the girl (at that time) and same shit happened again, I just felt like I was chasing her and was a lil bitch to her. If I could do it all over again Id just cut it from the beginning so I wouldn’t have wasted my time and energy. There are too many girls in this world to just be chasing 1. Just my 2 cents take what u want bro

As cringy as it sounds if you want them to chase you go hard in school, get a great job, and look good. She would think twice about canceling on you

 

[EpicFlash]

Septicanon" pid='96637' dateline='1597701187:

So I never thought I’d be asking for relationship advice on a steroid forum but here goes

Girl I’m seeing(ish) was meant to stay at mine friday as she’d had a fight with her flatmate earlier in the week. They made up and she didnt tell me she was cancelling to stay with her flatmate and have drinks until i texted her at 8pm after Ive asked my flatmates to leave us the house to ourselves and tidied up. I really want to cut off whatever we had is that the tren speaking or is that fair enough? Didn’t bother to apoligze until I said it’d upset me she blames the drink says she forgot.

She’s been getting the silent treatment since then (as in Im ignoring her texts/snaps) but my estrogen was high this morning and I’m seeing her tommorow for coffee. Is it okay to give her an ultimatum and say if that happens again were done or am I completely overreacting? I’m kind of just enjoying ignoring her at this point and her getting upset over it

basically Im feeling like her bitch and disrespected and I want to tip the scales back

I can deal with all the physical sides in the world with tren…but the emotional sides are crazy. You don’t even realize it until after the cycle and then think back going what the hell was I saying/feeling/thinking??? Even knowing ahead of time the brain is gonna get wonky doesn’t prepare you for it… my advice is just take a breath and don’t make any relationship changes/shifts/ ultimatums, etc until after the tren run…

 

[system]

It’s the drugs. You’re too invested. You’re merely seeing each other, not in a serious relationship. While what she did was disrespectful and it isn’t unreasonable to be bothered by it, the whole ultimatum or threatening to cut her off approach is an absolute no go. You just need to keep this in your mind going forward and use it as a reminder of what type of person she is and the level of respect/courtesy she deserves from you. If she isn’t making an effort to communicate things like this with you, next time you’d be better off not going out of your way to make your place accessible/clean or whatever, and should she question why, maturely explain that you had invested the time and effort to make it happen in the past only to be left hanging and didn’t want to risk that happening again. Really what this boils down to (IMO) is that she isn’t serious about this and her level of respect for you isn’t where you’d want it to be. Would she leave her mom hanging like that? Probably not.

Biggest takeaway/tl;dr from this is the ultimatum approach is not a good one and especially not with somebody you aren’t even in an actual serious relationship with. That shit sounds psycho, and this is coming from a ‘controlling’ type of guy.

 

[MikeAlstott]

Whatever you do, please do not give her an ultimatum. That is definitely overreacting. Ignore it. You’re seeing her tomorrow for coffee. Relax and just stay light with everything man. Detach yourself from those thoughts of you being her bitch because that’s your own opinion. You have control over that.

 

[Cog_Noggin]

It’s probably just the tren, unless you have a crazy/neurotic streak to begin with. It’s a casual relationship, manage your expectations. Sure, what she did was rude, but it’s not like you were planning an anniversary getaway with your long term girlfriend and she flaked on you. You made her a nice offer to give her a place to stay, and she ended up making up with her flatmate and not needing your favor. If you care about her, that’s a good thing. Again, it was rude if she didn’t care enough to let you know she wasn’t coming, but she could’ve just forgot if she was drinking and having emotional conversations with her flatmate or some shit. If she failed to apologize later, or this is part of a pattern of disrespectful behavior toward you, then obviously drop her. You kind of fucked up by giving her the silent treatment, which is kind of some moody teenager’s way of dealing with conflict (blame the tren). If that bothered her, you could choose to be the big man and apologize to her when you meet for coffee, but if she doesn’t apologize in turn for being rude and show you that she respects you in some way, it’s probably not worth your time. Give and take, talk and behave like adults.

 

[Septicanon]

Thanks for the replies guys. I know some of you have said I’m over invested, but the reason this gets to me is I’ve been trying to take things slow and keep things casual while she keeps saying how much she likes me and why aren’t we exclusive. I think I’ll mention it casually in conversation how it’s disrespectful and my friends wouldn’t do that to me and then move on conversation wise.

Another red flag is the day after she said we wanted to be exclusive is ahe made a new tinder which she matched with me on- idk if that’s some sort of mind game or what but I’m seeing a lot of red flags.

---

Cog_Noggin" pid='96663' dateline='1597718295:

It’s probably just the tren, unless you have a crazy/neurotic streak to begin with. It’s a casual relationship, manage your expectations. Sure, what she did was rude, but it’s not like you were planning an anniversary getaway with your long term girlfriend and she flaked on you. You made her a nice offer to give her a place to stay, and she ended up making up with her flatmate and not needing your favor. If you care about her, that’s a good thing. Again, it was rude if she didn’t care enough to let you know she wasn’t coming, but she could’ve just forgot if she was drinking and having emotional conversations with her flatmate or some shit. If she failed to apologize later, or this is part of a pattern of disrespectful behavior toward you, then obviously drop her. You kind of fucked up by giving her the silent treatment, which is kind of some moody teenager’s way of dealing with conflict (blame the tren). If that bothered her, you could choose to be the big man and apologize to her when you meet for coffee, but if she doesn’t apologize in turn for being rude and show you that she respects you in some way, it’s probably not worth your time. Give and take, talk and behave like adults.

She’s apologized over and over but I don’t feel she thinks she’s done anything wrong (otherwise why do it in the first place).

I’m glad the tren A is clearing as we speak

 

[MikeAlstott]

Septicanon" pid='96673' dateline='1597743617:

Thanks for the replies guys. I know some of you have said I’m over invested, but the reason this gets to me is I’ve been trying to take things slow and keep things casual while she keeps saying how much she likes me and why aren’t we exclusive. I think I’ll mention it casually in conversation how it’s disrespectful and my friends wouldn’t do that to me and then move on conversation wise.

Another red flag is the day after she said we wanted to be exclusive is ahe made a new tinder which she matched with me on- idk if that’s some sort of mind game or what but I’m seeing a lot of red flags.

---

Cog_Noggin" pid='96663' dateline='1597718295:

It’s probably just the tren, unless you have a crazy/neurotic streak to begin with. It’s a casual relationship, manage your expectations. Sure, what she did was rude, but it’s not like you were planning an anniversary getaway with your long term girlfriend and she flaked on you. You made her a nice offer to give her a place to stay, and she ended up making up with her flatmate and not needing your favor. If you care about her, that’s a good thing. Again, it was rude if she didn’t care enough to let you know she wasn’t coming, but she could’ve just forgot if she was drinking and having emotional conversations with her flatmate or some shit. If she failed to apologize later, or this is part of a pattern of disrespectful behavior toward you, then obviously drop her. You kind of fucked up by giving her the silent treatment, which is kind of some moody teenager’s way of dealing with conflict (blame the tren). If that bothered her, you could choose to be the big man and apologize to her when you meet for coffee, but if she doesn’t apologize in turn for being rude and show you that she respects you in some way, it’s probably not worth your time. Give and take, talk and behave like adults.

She’s apologized over and over but I don’t feel she thinks she’s done anything wrong (otherwise why do it in the first place).

I’m glad the tren A is clearing as we speak

---

Out of curiosity, how old is the woman in question and how old are you? You are describing someone who doesn’t know what she wants. Be wary of the push/pull. Not saying this is who she is, but just be cautious. She may like the idea of you and/or knowing she has you interested only. Just be on the lookout. She may be using Tinder as an ego boost to make herself feel wanted. Who knows. To be fair you were on Tinder as well. My advice is to get off Tinder for starters. Live your life and meet women that way. Like I said, I would tread lightly on this one in question.

Dude, DO NOT casually mention in conversation how it’s disrespectful. Just note it and move on. If you want to be “exclusive” with this one then bring that up and talk about it.

I don’t think I fully understand this situation from your point of view. You say you want to take things slow and casual, but then get upset when she says she wants to be exclusive and then doesn’t follow through on that. It sounds like you need to figure out what you want as well.

 

[DHT]

You just gotta make it clear bro. 2 categories, girl you fuck sometimes or girlfriend. Like whatever it is you need to make it clear to yourself and her. If you can’t let her just be a thing you fuck sometimes then you have to let her go or tell her you want to be monogomus .

You gotta make it straight to the point, women today just do whatever they want and men don’t tell them what they expect or want so the women just think it’s cool and do whatever.

Edit: what she asked to be exclusive? And you said no and she made a tinder to make you jealous?

 

[TheGrayvenWarlock]

My opinion is that you care a little bit too much. The drugs make you more emotional. Take your emotions out of it. Listen to your rational side.

 

[Septicanon]

DHT" pid='96829' dateline='1597950710:

You just gotta make it clear bro. 2 categories, girl you fuck sometimes or girlfriend. Like whatever it is you need to make it clear to yourself and her. If you can’t let her just be a thing you fuck sometimes then you have to let her go or tell her you want to be monogomus .

You gotta make it straight to the point, women today just do whatever they want and men don’t tell them what they expect or want so the women just think it’s cool and do whatever.

Edit: what she asked to be exclusive? And you said no and she made a tinder to make you jealous?

Yeah I don’t know about the tinder thing I’m guessing she was just seeking validation after I turned down being exclusive.

So update I kinda put this past me and I’m seeing this girl but I just don’t see it being an exclusive thing. Feels bad because I want to be honest but also don’t want to hurt her feelings. We have nothing in common and I don’t want to sound elitist but she only finished school didn’t go into college and it shows… I’m on my third degree. like she didn’t know what an amino acid is and as bad as that sounds it kinda clicked that we weren’t on the same playing field.

 

[SongBird]

People can forget things, it happens. But the fact that she didnt even apologize is a big fat red flag and shows what kind of person she is. If that happened to me, wether i give a fuck about the girl or not i’d legit feel ashamed and be sorry af because thats just shitty.

 

[dudebro73]

Septicanon" pid='97086' dateline='1598316749:

DHT" pid='96829' dateline='1597950710:

You just gotta make it clear bro. 2 categories, girl you fuck sometimes or girlfriend. Like whatever it is you need to make it clear to yourself and her. If you can’t let her just be a thing you fuck sometimes then you have to let her go or tell her you want to be monogomus .

You gotta make it straight to the point, women today just do whatever they want and men don’t tell them what they expect or want so the women just think it’s cool and do whatever.

Edit: what she asked to be exclusive? And you said no and she made a tinder to make you jealous?

Yeah I don’t know about the tinder thing I’m guessing she was just seeking validation after I turned down being exclusive.

So update I kinda put this past me and I’m seeing this girl but I just don’t see it being an exclusive thing. Feels bad because I want to be honest but also don’t want to hurt her feelings. We have nothing in common and I don’t want to sound elitist but she only finished school didn’t go into college and it shows… I’m on my third degree. like she didn’t know what an amino acid is and as bad as that sounds it kinda clicked that we weren’t on the same playing field.

Ah, the tragic “I dropped this girl because she didn’t know what an amino acid is” love story. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.